Writer’s note. This is intended to be released after the introduction comes out but before any character interviews release. Also to note, this can be split if so needed.
Hostbot and Loge are in the main lobby. They are the only ones in there. They seem to be waiting.
Loge: Where are they? They should have been here 15 minutes ago?
Hostbot: Relax. I’m sure they’re just running a little late.
Loge: I told you not to let Vadeo handle all of this.
Hostbot: Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should have gone ahead and-
Suddenly, a huge door opens. A bright light emits from it. In comes Vadeo.
Vadeo: Sorry for the wait. Here comes our guests.
In comes all of the contestants. One by one, they enter the lobby. They stand around not sure what to do. Hostbot grabs his microphone and stands on a little podium.
Hostbot: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome everyone! We’re so glad to see everyone was able to attend! Please, drop your bags off in the baggage area, and we’ll take care of those and lead those to your respective quarters.
Loge: Allow us to introduce ourselves. He’s Hostbot, the host of the tournament. I’m Loge, the co-host of the tournament. Please, if you have any questions, come see us. Don’t forget to refer to the pamphlet that explains the rules we’ve established here.
Hostbot: As we freshen a few more things out, why not take the time to get to know your colleagues, yes?
Everyone looks at each other, then back at Hostbot.
Hostbot: ….Good! Please keep all discussions in a peaceful manner.
Hostbot and Loge leave the lobby. Some contestants start walking around and begin introducing themselves to each other
GASM looks around and sees some of the other contestants walk around and introduce each other. He backs up a bit, seeing all different kinds of things he’s never seen before. He keeps backing up until he bumps into someone.
???: Well hi there!
GASM: (Jumps) Who goes there?
Shantae: I’m Shantae, one of the contestants, it’s a pleasure to meet you!
GASM: O-oh. Hello there. They call me “The Swordsman”. Pleasure t-to be your acquaintance.
Shantae: (She notices his giant sword) How heavy is that thing?
GASM: Oh this? It’s a little hard to carry at first, but after a while, you get pretty used to it? (He pays attention to her dress-up) So are you a genie or?
Shantae: Well, more of a half genie, but yeah.
GASM: I say. What kind of powers do you hold?
Shantae begins to belly dance. GASM looks confused. Suddenly, Shantae turns into a monkey.
GASM: Very impressive! Let me show my magic.
GASM starts to begin casting a spell, but while casting, Simisage pins GASM down and begins to dance on him.
GASM: What is this creature doing? Get it off, I say!
Shantae: Haha! That looks like fun!
Shantae jumps onto GASM’s legs and begins swinging on it while Simisage dances on his back
GASM: Agh! Stop it! Stop it! Ow! Stop!
As that is going on, Engineer is standing near Shofu, and Windows 95. He seems to be staring at Batter.
Engineer: Somethin’ about that boy rubs me the wrong way...
Shofu: Like what?
Engineer: I ain’t sure. It just looks like he stares into your soul.
Shofu: I wouldn’t worry about that shit.
Engineer: Ya think?
Shofu: Hell yeah. There’s some other freaky ass people here.
Windows 95: (A jingle plays as a pop-up appears) Would you like to allude to “vegetables.png”?
Engineer: Ah, whatever. I’m sure some of these people are here for the same reasons you and I are here. Where ya from, boy?
Shofu: Delaware. You?
Engineer: Bee Cave, Texas. Although currently I work in New Mexico.
Shofu: No shit? Whatchu do, cowboy?
Engineer: I’m a hired mercenary that works for RED.
Shofu’s eyebrows raise.
Engineer: Heh. Don’t worry about it. I ain’t like the others. I solve practical problems.
Shofu: Aight. Aight.
Engineer: Say..didn’t you another person with ya, earlier?
Shofu: Ah, right. (calling out) Rush! Come here, boy!
Rush beams down right in front of Shofu and begins licking him.
Shofu: Who’s a good boy?
Rush: Bark! Bark!
Engineer: Damn...that’s pretty impressive. You make that yerself?
Shofu: Hell no. I ain’t some mechanical genius like you are. I teamed up with him.
Windows 95: (Another pop-up appears) WARNING: Messing with the bondage of a dog and a human is dangerous. Are you sure you wanna continue?
Shofu: Haha, yeah. No shit.
Engineer and Shofu laugh as it cuts to Tyler talking to Toby and Orange.
Tyler: So you’re tellin’ me that mothafuckin’ orange on yo shoulder can talk?
Toby: Pssshh duh. Orange and I have known each other for a while. We go way back down when I used to work at a store called DaneBoe’s.
Orange: Hey! Hey! Tyler! What’s with the bad haircut? Did you create it yourself? Nyahahahaha!
Tyler: The motherfuck is this round ass saying?
Orange: Hey, Tyler! Hey! Hey!
Tyler: The fuck you want?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn’t say Tyler again? Hahahahahaha!
Toby: Wow that joke was kinda lame even for your standards.
Orange: Oh c’mon, Nerville. I’m just having’ some fun.
Tyler: Shit, you ain’t bout to have any fun when I beat cho ass, you round ass orange faced mothafucka.
Toby: Hey, man. Lay off a little. He’s just trying to have some fun.
Tyler: What fun does this asshole have annoyin’ the living fuck outta these bitches? We just tryna do our business n’ shit and you go around spewin’ out bullshit. Bitch, you better lay down. I mean, LAY DOWN fo’ I beat cho ass, fool.
Toby and Orange are silent for a moment. Tyler is also silent, but he’s breathing a little heavy. He seems very annoyed.
Orange: Hey, Tyler! Hey!
Tyler: (twitches) What?
Orange: Monkey.
Tyler: The fuck?
Suddenly, Simisear appears under Tyler.
Tyler: What does this monkey fuck want?
Simisear: [It seems like Simisear wants to play with Tyler, The Creator.]
Toby: Aww, I see you made a little friend there. You know, I’ve always wanted to see a Pokemon at some point.
Tyler: (to Simisear) Ay, man. You want a banana or somethin’?
Orange: Don’t feed him Banana! He still owes me $50!
Toby: $50 for what?
Orange: Well, remember the time those unicorns attacked the fruit stand? You know, when Banana was about to get crushed by the blue one that was shooting our M&Ms at everyone? Remember when I saved him from getting crushed by a giant yellow M&M and he said “Thank you, Orange. You saved my life!” and I was like “Yeah, no prob. Just give me $50 and we’ll call it an even split! Nyahahahahaha!” but then the red unicorn stabbed him with his horn?
Toby: Oooh riiiight. Yeah I remember now.
Tyler: ...what the fuck are you smokin’?
Orange: Oh, I don’t smoke. I spit mad seeds, though!
Toby: Dude you gotta lay off that stuff. That freaking hurts, sometimes.
At this point, Simisage has given up trying to play with Tyler. He begins to look around. Suddenly, Crash comes spinning around.
Crash: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Simisage: [Simisage is very excited with the spinning. He begins to spin with Crash.]
Tyler: Shit! These mofos boutta make a tornado or some shit. I’m gettin’ the fuck outta here.
Tyler backs off as Toby and Orange watch Crash and Simisage spin around. Simisage and Crash keep spinning in circles and circles around each other. Eventually, both crash into each other and fall to the floor, very dizzy.
Orange: Now that’s what I call a crash landing! Hahahahahahaha!
As Orange laughs, Batter can be seen looking down at Sackboy. They are both silent.
Sackboy: [Sackboy looks at Batter. He seems a little frightened.]
Batter:...so...what exactly are you supposed to be?
Sackboy: [Sackboy isn’t sure how he should respond.]
Batter: You aren’t possessed by a ghost, are you?
Sackboy: [Sackboy shakes his head. Of course he isn’t possessed by a ghost!]
Batter: You look like a cute little guy. (He picks up Sackboy and puts him on his shoulder.) Why don’t you and I meet more of these freaks?
As Batter walks away with Sackboy, AVGN can be seen talking to Arcade Pac-Man.
AVGN: I gotta say, it’s such an honor to finally meet someone as famous as you are.
Pac-Man: Why, thank you..mister...I’m sorry, what was your name?
AVGN: Just call me “The Nerd”.
Pac-Man: Riiight. Anyway, have you even seen some of these opponents yet?
AVGN: You can say that again. I was on my way here and I see some fucking giant ass pirate ship crash into the fucking building. That’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve seen so far. Playstation mascots? The fucking Noid with some dude and some blue haired chick? WINDOWS 95?! Why in the absolute FUCK is there some construction worker dude here? What kind of fucking dream am I in where i’m talking to fucking PAC-MAN! It’s like being in a game where there’s a fucking monkey hanging out with some demon lookin’ guy who’s also with Doomguy. What kind of fucked up dream would that b-
Pac-Man: (Interrupting AVGN) Uhh..Nerd? Those are uh...those are actual contestants..
AVGN: HUH? (He looks over to see Simipour with Black Frost and Doomguy. He pauses for a moment.) I need a fucking beer.
Pac-Man: Aw, come on. It’s not so bad. I’ve introduced myself to a few of the contestants already.
AVGN: I’ve seen some fucked up things. This is bar none some of THE weirdest fucked up shit i’ve seen though.
Pac-Man: Well, what kind of things?
AVGN: I’ve fought a giant R.O.B, I had a dream where I cloned myself while playing “Nightmare on Elm Street” on NES, I’ve accidentally time traveled and watched myself play shitty Mega Man games, and one of those was where I time traveled into my that fucking dream I had!
Pac-Man: Are you sure there isn’t anything in those drinks?
(As AVGN and Arcade Pac-Man talk, Black Frost and Doomguy stand near Simipour)
Black Frost: Hee-ho! Isn’t this wonderful? They actually allowed us to take part with the tournament, ho!
Doomguy: ….
Black Frost: Best of all, we’ve already made a friend, ho!
Doomguy: (grunts)
Simipour: [Simipour wants to play with Doomguy]
Doomguy bends down and picks up Simipour. Simipour looks happy.
Doomguy: (“Cute.” he thinks.)
Scott Oelkers comes over towards Black Frost.
Scott: Excuse me, do you happen to know where the bathroom is?
Black Frost: Hee-ho! It’s down the right side of the lobby, ho!
Scott: Excuse me?
Black Frost: I said it’s down the right side of the lobby, ho!
Scott: I’m sorry, but was there something I said that made you call me that?
Black Frost looks confused.
Black Frost: Excuse me?
Doomguy: (“Good god just shut up,” he thinks.)
Black Frost: I’m sorry, ho, but I don’t understand why you’re getting offended! Hee-ho!
Scott:...I’m just gonna go to the bathroom, now.
Scott walks away, shaking his head.
Black Frost: What an unusual fella, ho!
Doomguy pets Simipour while staring at Scott heading towards the bathroom.
Doomguy: (“Easy target” he thinks)
The scene changes to The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything sitting down on the lobby chairs talking about the other contestants.
Pa Grape: So did you hear about the girl who showed up and almost burnt down the place?
Larry: Really? I guess that explains some of the burn marks on the walls.
Mr. Lunt: Well I heard from the talking log that apparently that guy with the funny haircut tried to cut out the fire.
Megalo-chan suddenly appears behind them
Megalo-chan: Cut out the what?
Mr. Lunt: (jumps) AH! Oh, goodness. You scared me.
Megalo-chan: Hello, boys. I heard you were talking about me.
Larry: Yeah, and how you caused a huge fire!
Megalo-chan: Oh, come on I didn’t mean to. Why does everyone I meet gotta talk about it?
Pa Grape: So...uh..Meggy-chan, was it?
Megalo-chan: It’s Megalo-chan, thank you very much.
Larry: We’re sorry. I’m Larry The Cucumber!
Mr. Lunt: I’m Mr. Lunt!
Pa Grape: And I'm Pa Grape!
Larry: And we’re…
The 3 jump out of their chairs and form into a organized pose.
All 3: The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything! *Editor's note: This can be formatted either as all 3 stock icons in one or just one each saying the same thing
Megalo-chan: …..
Mr. Lunt: So, what do you think?
Megalo-chan: That’s uh...that’s certainly something.
Larry: (Whispers to Pa Grape) I think she likes it.
Batter with Sackboy on his shoulder walks near the 4 of them.
Batter: Look at all those people. This will be too easy.
Sackboy nods his head. He notices Parappa heading towards the both of them
Parappa: Yo, sackboy! I’ve been lookin’ all over for you, man!
Batter: Is this yours? (He hands Sackboy to Parappa) Him and I met and we decided to go around meeting everyone else.
Parappa: Nah, it’s cool. I was just introducing myself to all the others. Then I had to look for Crash. For some reason, he was laying down on the floor with some monkey while an orange was talking their ears out. I gotta say, this place is weird, but I think they’ll put up some good competition for us. What do you think?
Batter: (He looks around at everyone. Then he shrugs.)
Parappa: I just wonder when our rooms are ready. I’m gettin’ real tired just standing around.
The hallway doors suddenly open. Out comes Hostbot and Loge, with Vadeo following soon behind with a slick bow tie on.
Hostbot: (Grabs his mic) Attention, everyone! May I have your attention, please?
Everyone stops what they’re doing and moves their attention towards the two host
Loge: Everyone’s rooms are prepared. If you have any questions, don’t shy away from looking through your pamphlet or asking one of us.
Loge: Otherwise…
The both of them: Welcome to the HiipaSpooker Host For A Day Tournament!
Everyone is silent in awe.
Orange: Forget that! I’ll just stay in the kitchen. Hahahahaha!